(Rumor has it a horrible surprise will await that day. I am roughly aware of the plan & the parties involved. To those foolish enough to contemplate such an endeavor, I only remind you of 1) my history with pranks is longer than all of yours combined, and 2) my willingness to always go one step further than the other guy. You have been warned.)

It was a tough decision to leave the ticket mines, but I was approached with an opportunity that was just too tempting to pass up. I’m actually really excited about it, but I’ll save that for another juncture. The hardest thing in the type of situation is saying goodbye with the people you’ve been working with day-in & day-out for the past few years. A hardship/challenge can split a group apart or pull it tightly together. I’m really proud of how the team — both mine & Ticketmaster as a whole — rallied together to overcome anything put in out way, even in some pretty difficult spots. Bitch all you want about Ticketmaster service fees, but you won’t be able to find anything bad to say about its people.

One thing that does make it easier to move on is knowing everything will be in good hands. It’s hard to not get emotionally invested in things over the course of two years, and handing things to over to competent caretakers certainly helps physiologically.

There is one other thing that helps too: Any transition brings some pain & turmoil and most of mine will be cast upon one Khayman Walker. Yes, it will be the delight I can take in his suffering. His pain is my joy. I like to think of being a Kahn to his Kirk. (Only in a parallel universe where Khan wins, of course.)

Unfortunately, Khayman is sorta smart, so he has some idea of what he’s in for, but I still like to think that several months from now, he’ll be sitting at his desk, all of it fully setting in. He will lean back and scream “Bill! BIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!” Man, I’m getting all tingly just thinking about it.

Walk through pretty much any market & you’ll find loads of knockoffs. Knockoff watches, knockoff video games, and knockoff everything. Passing a stand with a bunch of phones, I was particularly surprised to find a knockoff iPhone! While obviously fake, I was sorta curious how well it worked.

Playing naive, I walked over and asked if that was the iphone. The scent of blood in water exited the salesman, exclaiming “yes!” and, as expected, pulling it out for me to see.

Me: “Oh, it’s in Chinese. I thought the real iPhone was in English?”

Him: “Sir! This is real iPhone! I change language for you.”

A few taps and it’s in English. Poking around, I confirmed what the bottom-right icon suggested. It was a fake written in Java, though not a bad one.

Me: “So this is a real iPhone?”

Him (annoyed): “Sir! I tell you already! This is very real iPhone.”

Me: “It is? But it doesn’t have an Apple logo back on the back”, I say as I turn it over.

Him (more annoyed): “Sir! Real iPhone not have Apple logo on the back!”

Me: “I thought they did?”

Him (annoyed/exasperated): “Sir! Ones with logos are fake! This one is real iPhone!”

Me: “Really?”, I ask, pulling my own iPhone out of my other pocket, “Because mine has the logo.”

Him (eyes wide, excited, and without losing a beat): “I pay YOU six hundred American!”

At this point 3G phones were $300 in the states, so I was stumped as to why anyone would pay me double that for the older phone. It turns out, those were easier to unlock, and, as our coworker-guide explained, they’d be able to turn around and sell it for at least $900, easy.

I couldn’t believe it, but later I saw this sign.

(For reference, one US dollar equals about 7.7 hong kong dollars, so about US$1,182 for the 16gig 3G.)

The crazy thing was people were still streaming in from all directions. By the time tickets actually went onsale, it was estimated some 50,000 people had lined up.

It was a crazy 36 hours or so. We were busy through the night and somewhere around 2am we noticed the security forces that had assembled to protect our box office.

One part of the process involved counting batches of 250+ tickets. Around four in the morning, I realized people count sheep to fall asleep. Here I was trying to stay awake, having to count tickets!

With such high demand, things sold at a fairly brisk pace. So when things calmed down, Hui & I decided to head to the Olympic Green, and check out a few of the venues. Unfortunately, the entire area was blocked off by security fences, so we could only take pics from afar.

The last thing I’ll mention involves the elevator of our hotel. In the West, it’s not uncommon to skip the 13th floor. But I still can’t figure out why this particular hotel skipped not just 13, but 2 & 14 as well. I hope it wasn’t a cheap knock off of an elevantor — sorta how a “Rolex” in China might be missing a 5 or 9.

UPDATE: By coincidence, youtube just featured this AFP video about the final onsale.

It was quite an experience. I had to wake up early to travel from Shenzhen to Beijing on the 24th. I was to land at noon, plenty of time to get to the office before things started rolling at 6, but checking my blackberry the morning of the flight, I found out at plans shifted to start at 2. I still made it there okay, getting to the office at 1:30.

What followed was madness from there. At the office, we started receiving reports of line lengths at the various venues. The onsale didn’t start until 9am the next morning, and here at 2pm some were estimated to be around 1,000.

Around 7pm, the Bird’s Nest box office request we come over to help if possible.

I don’t how to explain what it was like encountering The Line. The cab passed by & it was immediately obvious there were hundreds, with a constant stream of people flowing in from every direction. I later found what I had seen as a tiny bit, the line wrapping around the corner. Once I rounded that corner, I was shocked. There was easy a 1,000 people.

I tried following the line to find the box office, only to find I was, again, near a small (comparatively) piece of the line, watching it double-back on itself again & again. Only to discover after everything that was in front me, in continued into a giant parking lot. I’ve never seen anything like it.

At that point it was estimated 10,000 people were in line, growing to 50,000 when I left at 5am the next morning. Each box office seemed to have 1,000 people in line, and several now with 10,000. What used to be extremely large had now become the low-end of things.

Security was tight, but well managed. Around 2am I looked up and noticed a wall of police & military were standing shoulder-to-shoulder out front, covering a 200′ length, to block off our box office. The surrounding roads long having but cut off, police cars & military vehicles filled the scene, their the strobing light filling the otherwise dark sky.

There were a few incidents — with crowds of that size it would hard to imagine otherwise, but all in all, it went really smooth. Reports of stampedes in the media were a bit overblow.

All in all, it was success.

Things with the great firewall have changed a bit. Youtube & the english version of Wikipedia are unblocked, but pages such as Tibet & the like are still blocked. It looks like the filter is based on the URL as I could access Chicago, but not Chicago?q=Tibet.

A day after things had calmed down, a coworker arranged for us to visit a tea ceremony and see a bit of a Chinese variety act — magic, singing, kung fu, opera, all in one night. For the magic act, I was called on stage. Another coworker, JD, wrote about it on his blog.

I’ll post some pics of my trip when I can. (I.e., when I can find a micro-usb cable.)

In all likelihood this is my last trip to China for a long while. It’s been interesting. The overwhelming majority of time was work related, but we did squeeze in some fun here & there. I’ll post a follow-up of Beijing must-do’s in a later post.

• Watched 21
  
• Ate dinner
  
• Read a chapter on Cocoa Programming
  
• Took a nap
  
• Caught up on email
  
• Read a few chapters of Dune
  
• Watched the last 6 hours of Shogun
  
• Beat Zuma, start to finish, again
  
• Played first 19 levels of Enigmo
  
• Watched first third of Fool’s Gold
  
• Took another nap
  
• Ate breakfast
  
• Played blackjack on my iPhone
  

Things I learned from Shogun:

• Don’t enter a basement full of Ninja
  
• The battle of Ninja versus Samurai is not a clear as you might think
  
• Editing for length was not popular in the 80s
  

I’m in Hong Kong now (free airport wifi!), headed to Shenzhen shortly. I’ll be there for a few days, then headed up to Beijing, and then, finally, back to Hong Kong for a few days of personal travel.

Before it was Innumeracy was a book, Ronald Reagan noted the phenomenon manifesting in response to speeches. He could talk about how a particular piece of legislation had saved $7.4 million and people would hardly respond. But if he talked about how a bill saved $324,000 the crowed would applaud enthusiastically.

Sadly, the same is true with human tragedy.

From early reports of 10,000 dead, eventually rising to 50,000, then 60,560, now 69,016… It’s hard to put something like the earthquake in China into perspective because (thankfully) it’s so foreign to us. We lack context. Most of us will live our entire lives and it will be a complete shock to us if more than one person close to us dies on a single day.

For tragedies like the earthquake, we lack context. Try as we might, all we can really understand is that a lot of people died.

Maybe then, instead of trying to understand the whole, we try to understand what we can. The stories of individuals.

Without gore, and in bitter-sweet fashion, an Chinese artist named Coco Wang managed to depict just a handful of stories.

I suggest you read them all.

For me, more than the countless news articles, more than the tv coverage, these ten stories brought home the tragedy. That behind each one is a shattered family, irreparably changed. That in the midst of pain were beacons of love, bravery, selflessness, and kindness. Things that give us that rare opportunity to take pride in calling ourselves “human.”

Kenndy said “our most basic common link is that we all inhabit this small planet, we all breathe the same air, we all cherish our children’s futures, and we are all mortal.”

Take a moment to reflect on the individual stories, to send them your thoughts, your help, and most importantly your prayers.

What I didn’t know was how windy it had been earlier that morning.

When I completed my journey to Subway, a group of metalheads, clad in dark, demon-laden, metal shirts, sat at the table next to me debating & proposing new potential categories for Wheel of Fortune.

In other news, my car was broken into (again) this morning.

I was awoken by the landlord informing of the situation & asking me to check my car. As I drive a Jeep Wrangler, it looks more like it was a “unzipping” than a break-in. Luckily, as part of leaving for China, I stripped my car of various gadgets — notably my GPS — and had yet to put them back.

All-in-all, it looks like they rummaged through my backseat, stole some burned CDs & some loose change. Perhaps happy with their loot, they ignored my radio. Honestly, the biggest pain of it all was re-attaching the side & back window.

With similar rationale, I’m going to hit a CD store. I’ll stock up on a dozen or so $.99 CDs and leave them in the car. Hopefully, future thieves will be happy with a score they estimate at $100+, decide that’s enough & leave, leaving everything else alone.

Sadly, this is neither photoshop’ed nor inaccurate.

I’m puttering around at LAS, waiting for my flight to board & return me to Los Angeles. I’ll write more about the trip later, but I have to say free WiFi at the airport rocks. Why doesn’t every airport do this?

Goodbye, Las Vegas. I’ll miss you.

However, thanks to the 99 cent, Las Vegas Half-Pound hot dog, I’ll be taking part of you with me. (Blackberry included for reference.)

Love to eat turkey
Love to eat turkey
Love to eat turkey
‘Cause it’s good
Love to east turkey
Like a good boy should
‘Cause it’s turkey to eat
So good

Turkey for me
Turkey for you
Let’s eat the turkey
in my big brown shoe
Love to eat the turkey
At the table
I once saw a movie
With Betty Grable
Eat that turkey
All night long
Fifty million Elvis fans
Can’t be wrong
Turkey turkey doo and
Turkey turkeydap
I eat that turkey Then I take a nap

Thanksgiving is a special night
Jimmy Walker used to say Dynomite
That’s right
Turkey with gravy and cranberry
Can’t believe the Mets traded Darryl Strawberry
Turkey for you and
Turkey for me
Can’t believe Tyson
Gave that girl V.D.

White meat, dark meat
You just can’t lose
I fell off my moped
And I got a bruise
Turkey in the oven
And the buns in the toaster
I’ll never take down
My Cheryl Tiegs poster
Wrap the turkey up
In aluminum foil
My brother like to masturbate
With baby oil
Turkey and sweet potato pie
Sammy Davis Jr.
Only had one eye

Turkey for the girls and
Turkey for the boys
My favorite kind of pant
Are corduriys
Gobble gobble goo and
Gobble gobble gickel
I wish turkey
Only cost a nickel
Oh I love turkey on Thanksgiving

Later, when I got a DVD player, I decided I didn’t need to re-purchase most of my VHS collection, just to have it on DVD. Except, of course, the Princess Bride. So I bought it on DVD.

Shortly thereafter they released a “Special Edition” version, loaded with extras, so, of course, I bought it.

Now, there’s an even newer edition — the special 20th Anniversary Edition.

I wish I could tell you I was angry.

Angry at having to keep purchasing the same, damn movie over and over and over again.

But I’m not.

I’m so not.

Sadly, my reaction was that of schoolgirl glee, thinking “Oooooooooo! I bet there’s even more extras!”

*sigh*

I swear, it’s like I never read/saw Fight Club.

Jonathan’s been cranking away at his newest endeavour, Deallocker. (They even have coupons for ticketmaster!)

Traffic in socal amazes me. The drive down, with traffic here & there, took about 3 hours. Yet the drive back, with zero traffic, took some where between 1.5-2 hours. I think the moral of the story is next time take the train.

To amend for my Fabio ways, I reach deep into the bowels of the Internet to bring you not one, but TWO pieces of awesome.

“It’s Like Meeting the Girl of Your Dream and Finding Out She’s Five”

Before MTV sucked, it didn’t suck. Life was good for MTV in the early 90s and it shared the goodness with its viewers. Sprinkled into the mix of videos, ads, and shows were offbeat promos. Dennis Leary got his start ranting in them, but they peaked with Jimmy the cab driver.

There wasn’t much to know about Jimmy, other than he was a greasy New York cab driver who apparently watched a lot of MTV. And that’s all he would talk about music videos with his passengers, often somewhat confused. When Sabotage was on everyone’s top 10, he would tell people about this great new cop show coming to MTV.

Once he even did a spoof. Ironic, don’t you think?

Greatest Video Game Ever

A video game must be judged in the context of its era. Take Frogger. It’s a great game, but nobody is going crazy over it today.

With that in mind, Ninja Gaiden is the greatest game of all time. Those who played it on their NES instantly know what I’m talking about. Ninja Gaiden was no Super Mario. No, this game was darker. You father was slain in a duel. By whom? Why? To top it all off, you were a fucking ninja. That’s right, you were a ninja out to avenge your father.

If that doesn’t scream awesome to you, you obviously never were a 13 year old boy. To a 13 year old boy, that shit is fucking catnip.

Between the action scenes, it executed the movie scene notion phenomenally well. Beautiful graphics. Compelling 8-bit music. A story someone actually spent a little bit of time on.

In fact, so great was the pull of the story, was that when word spread we had beaten it, kids flocked to our house, just so they could see the ending.

The only hesitation I have in sharing the above cinema screens with you, dear reader, is you didn’t earn it.

You see, Ninja Gaiden was ridiculously hard.

Put yourself in this situation. You’re a pre-teen. You’re hooked. You want, nay need, to find out how things end.

You get to the final boss & he’s a bitch. Finally, using your special items, you beat him. Only, guess what? That wasn’t the final boss, be’atch!

Now you die on the 2nd. Oh, did I mention when you die you go all the way back to the start of the level? That right. The start. And it’s fucking hard too. Well, it starts off hard, but since you’re going to end up doing it 300-400 times, you get pretty good at it. And you better, because you need all your life & all your special items if you’re going to beat the two final bosses.

Finally, and your 101st try, maybe you do it. At last! Only no… it can’t be… only it is. Yes, a a third boss.

You’re so stunned you probably don’t even move the control pad the first time & simply die. But there’s only two special items! What to do? No matter what you do, you have to go mano-y-mano with at least one boss. And that’s impossible.

This game was so hard, my brothers & I re-wired my parents television equipment. We setup the VCR to connect to the out of Nintendo, so we could record fighting the final bosses. After a few attempts, we rewound the tape trying to find places we could save a single health bar or a weakness somewhere we hadn’t previously noticed. And, no, I’m not making any of this up.

The trick I found was wall jumping, a quirk of the game. See, as a ninja you can jump & stick to walls. If you were really, really good you could do a trick where you would jump away from the way, them come back very quickly & end up a little bit higher that where you started.

Now, if you’re thinking the physics of this are impossible, well excuse me, Mr. Smarty Pants, but you must have forgotten: it’s a fucking ninja!

So, if I remember correctly, you call the first guy jumping & slashing. You kill the 2nd guy buy wall-jumping to where he has a hard time getting you. And the 3rd guy you use both your items on. (I don’t remember what items to get other than the good one shoots rings of fire or something.)

Even today, hearing the music after watching Ryu’s father die in the duel, I still get a little misty eyed… *sniff*… *tear*

No joke.

Tonight was my first attempt at using it. My goal was to create the joy that is teriyaki chicken & white rice.

I give my first efforts a C+.

A few things I learned:

• Two cups of rice is a lot.

• I should have mixed some teriyaki sauce with the rice.

• Rice takes a loooooonnnggg time to cook. I have to factor that in next time.

• I haven’t figured out how to apply the teriyaki sauce yet. I put it on towards the end of grilling, but that just resulting it in burning. A question for Geoff & Brandon tomorrow.

• Teriyaki & rice is best in a bowl, but not in any of the bowls I own. Another trip to the store may be required.
  

Google Sightseeing into the act, revealing her address is 1467 N. Kings Rd, West Hollywood. I live at 733 N. Kings — we’re practically neighbors! Now I know where to knock when in need of a cup of sugar.

Here’s another odd thing. I have periodic aspirations of purchasing real estate. I wouldn’t say I’m actively in the market, but I’m on a few realtor’s mailing lists, etc. Around here, 1 million gets you a nice condo. That’s about it. Not even a great condo, but a nice one.

Only a month ago, I went to a open house for a dumpy duplex (each a 1 bedroom) and it cost $1.1m.

So here’s the strange thing. 1.1m gets you crap. 1.7m — a difference of only 600k — gets you true millionaire lifestyle housing. That makes no sense to me. Another sign that this market is completely irrational.

Oh well, maybe Hilton will need a pool boy when she gets out.

Before going further, I have to say that tvtix.com sucks. (And no, I’m not linking to those bastards.)

1) The start time they gave was wrong. (It was 9:30am, not 9:00am.)

2) They were supposed to give us a print-out of tickets. They didn’t. (The page was kind enough to take the email confirmation.)

3) They said parking was free & we’d receive a voucher. The page confirmed this wasn’t the case & we would have to pay for it.

4) You have to call the day before to confirm your reservation. The phone number in the email confirmation is wrong.

They suck suck suck. (There. I linked to them. Go see how awful the site is. Notice the year of the copyright in the footer. Extend suckage to general experience.)

There was a special kicker, however. The day before I received an email saying our 10:30am start time was moved to 9am. I found out later the 2:30pm start time was moved to 3:30pm.

Big changes. What caused such a ruckus?

That, my friend, is because our show, the 9am show turned out to be the special 100th episode celebration!!! (Sorry for the multiple exclamation points. The pre-show warm-up, teaching when to clap & cheer, getting the crowed excited, has left me with a pavlovian response to certain phrases. “One Million Dollars!!!”)

So there we sat.

From 9am to 2:30pm.

No breaks.

No water.

No food.

For five and half hours.

The psychology of people in the audience was interesting too. These people are crazy as well. Ranging from emphatic “No deals!”, “Keep it low” chants with the type of vigor generally reserved for European soccer games, to commentary on strategy. My favorite comment, from a nearby audience member, was “What? Why would he choose 12 now? That don’t make sense. That’s just stupid.”

Since a lot of people ask me for lucky numbers, and this is generally regarded as a top pick for numerologists, I thought I’d share some secrets from the Special Deal or No Deal 100th Episode Celebration!!!!! Obviously, spoilers ahead.

• All past winner/contestants are brought back.
• The chick in the front row of former contestants really does dance all the time. That wasn’t just an act for when the cameras where on. She is actually crazy.
• The previous contestant who won $10 (the lowest amount ever won) is given a second shot. He looks a bit like the big, burly, bearded guy from Grizzly Adams, but with a southern accent.
• The zero in $10 is replaced with his face, both on the board and in the case. Is this comedy or what?
• The model with the case containing $10 had to open in 9 times as she kept moving the case. Believe me, the taping of each iteration was even more exciting than the last.
• Grizzly Adams really does suck. He manages to systematically knock out all the high amounts pretty quick.
• Grizzly heads up to stage to hug the model a few times. Each hug went a bit too long. After each, I think we all felt a bit uncomfortable as well as a need to shower.
• Grizzly rushes the little room where the “The Banker” is. That was kinda entertaining. (Well, when it happened it was. The 45 minutes after the show of taping audience reactions over and over and over again was less so.)
• Grizzly likes Ozzy Osbourne so there’s a taped greeting from Ozzy.
• There’s are other taped greetings from Leno, Ceiline Deon, Regis and other people I don’t care about. (All for the special 100th celebration!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
• Grizzly gets it down to $25, $200, $400, and $750. I think he leaves with $400.
• Howie didn’t really spend a lot of time talking to people. Each time there was a break, he was gone. Off the stage. I felt a little bad for Grizzly standing up there alone.
• There’s a big special cake the models get to have. Apparently there is a cake fight. The audience was offered none. This disappointed Mom.

So there you have it.

The magic behind the machine.

Mom loved it (despite not getting any cake), so I’ll consider it a success. But man, this makes up for my the pain of my birth or something.

As someone who prefers to buy DVDs, I never had any urge to join Netflix.

Hearing people tell me how great it was, how much they loved Netflix, the excited “me too!” when finding out someone else is a subscriber all just went around me. I’d feel like a unmovable rock or fallen tree in the middle of a flowing river as the conversation shifts to what each person has in their queue (as it inevitably does). While they talked, I’d remain silent, wondering if this is what it was like to hear other people talk about their Tivo. Or what women think of men and the Three Stooges. There’s obviously something there, but what is it? It just isn’t making any sense.

“You don’t have to go the movie theater!” But I like going to movies.

“You can watch movies at home!” I already have HBO & Showtime.

“You don’t have to go to the video store!” I just buy DVDs when they come out on Amazon.

But I finally decided to give it a try. What pushed me over, was seeing they had a $6 plan. (Actually, it’s $5.99 but I have no desire to help their marketing department.) It’s nothing like the plan all my friends have. No endless wave of DVDs. No three movies at a time, so you always have one to watch. No, my plan, the six dollar plan, is much simpler: one movie only at a time and two movies per month. Max.

For me, that’s fine. For six bucks, I’ll try it. So I signed up, created my queue, and about a week ago, my very first movie arrived, Equilibrium. A few of my friends liked it. Loved it, in fact. Raved about the story, the action, the gun fights. “You like the Matrix”, they said. “You’ll love this.” Plus it has Christian Bale. All-in-all, a pretty good bet.

So I watched it last night.

And I hated it.

It was awful.

Imagine a movie merging all the classic books about a futurist dystopia : Brave New World, Fahrenheit 451, 1984.

Have an image?

Okay, you’ve seen the movie.

That’s all there is.

And if you know these books, all suspense completely goes out the window. You really don’t wonder if Christian Bale will have issue with his enforcement of the law, if you’ve read Fahrenheit 451. There’s no suspense in who “Father” is, if you know 1984. And the problem is, the very audience who goes to see this type of movie is the very audience who has read those kinds of books.

Now, it’s not that I have a problem with derivative works. A lot of people claim The Matrix is just Dark City re-done, but it’s without question, one my favorite movies of all times. The difference between the Matrix & Equilibrium, is the Matrix at least brings a few new things to the table.

Equilibrium has a few well-shot gun fights, but doesn’t really add anything new. In a way, it’s like viewing a traced copy or paint-by-numbers version of the Mona Lisa. If they’re going to be that similar, why not go with the real deal?

Now here’s the unexpected part: Despite hating my first movie, I’m now in love with Netflix.

Why?

Because previously, had I wanted to see this movie, I would have bought it. Meaning instead of being out $3, I’d be out $20. So apparently that’s the Netflix hook for me. Not seeing more movies. Not avoiding trips to the video store. It’s buying fewer crappy movies.

Thank you, Netflix.

What was different was being on the radio. On the radio you can’t see people. So when someone was telling their story, people had to pay attention to the words. They had to make conclusions about people based on their words. On their stories. On what they shared with the audience about the lives.

That is, people couldn’t make the snap judgments that we so often do, based strictly on physical appearance. You couldn’t say “Oh look, at how they’re dressed” and fill in the rest with your own assumptions. For the kid from the wrong side of town, with the wrong type of dress, the wrong type of hair cut, this was a chance for people to listen what he said. Really listen, instead of having it shouted out by what he wore.

That lack of image, lack of being able to see them, made you listen a little closer, and perhaps get to know someone, or listen to their side of the story, in a way maybe you wouldn’t have otherwise.

Whenever it was that I heard whatever it was that I actually did hear, I was just starting to get into This American Life, so it stuck with me, and was one of the things I really grew to really like about the show.

So it’s with mixed emotion that I watched the teaser of This American Life on Showtime.

Finger’s crossed it’s even half of what the radio show is — that would still make it one of the best things on TV today.

I played dodgeball against Danielbeast tonight.

They beat us 5-1, but I took him out once or twice.

I wasn’t sure if it was him, especially from the other side of the court (and especially when immersed in the five D’s of dogeball: dodge, duck, dip, dive and dodge!). After the game, when the high-fives & good games where complete, he happened to look over, so I said “Hey, are you Danielbeast?”

“Yeah!”, he responded, clearly happy with the notion of being recognized.

I replied “I thought so.”, turned around, and headed home. In hindsight, he clearly was willing to talk to a fan. Maybe, dig into the storyline of lonelygirl15 a bit. After all, he’s just been kidnapped, so now more than ever before, is his time in the spotlight. Maybe pose for a fan-photo or two. An autograph. Offer to buy him a beer.

Alas, I was only curious & none of those thinks really occurred to me.

As Jimmy said “I stole his glory.”

I wonder if this is what turns celebrities against the general population. George Clooney had to go through a long phase like that. Sure he’s A-list now, but there was a long period between his start & now. A random couple on the street might have noticed him 20 years ago, “Hey, aren’t you that guy who was in a few episodes of the Facts of Life?”

“Yeah, that was me, George Clooney! Want an autograph? Or better yet, I’ll pose for a picture!”

“Um, ah, that’s okay. We only have 5 shoots left in the roll & we’re saving them for this weekend. I was just I was arguing my wife that you where that guy from the Facts of Life, but she said no, you would have had a mustache then. I told her no, she was confusing you with Schneider, the plumber from One Day at Time, and that you where you.”

George, clearly crestfallen, “Oh, okay. I understand.”

“Thanks George. Good luck with the TV acting.”

After they turned around, I’m sure George cried a silent tear or two.

No wonder now he hates the paparazzi so much. Where were they then?

My left one popped right after landing (per usual), but the right one simply refuses. So now everything sounds funny. Really funny. The left ear hears normal, but through my right ear, it’s like I’m still on the plane. It could be the cold, but it seems this audio disconnect is giving my brain a headache to boot.

As if being sick wasn’t unpleasant enough.

Man, this sucks.

Pink shorts? Well, they started white.

http://www.latimes.com/sports/la-spw-ufc13jan13,1,3219199.story

Randy Couture, a former Ultimate Fighting Championship title holder in two weight classes, has announced he is returning to competition to fight heavyweight champion Tim Sylvia in March.

Couture, 43, twice won the UFC’s heavyweight and light-heavyweight belts. He claims victories over current light-heavyweight champion Chuck Liddell and the division’s former champion, Tito Ortiz.

Couture (14-8) retired in February 2006, following a knockout loss at the hands of Liddell. He was inducted into the UFC Hall of Fame, yet later expressed some criticism of Sylvia’s “conservative” fighting style.

Sylvia (25-2) won a decision in November over Jeff Monson in a fight that was littered with booing by an Arco Arena crowd critical of the inaction.

“It’s hard to be around fighters and around this sport as much as I am and not want to compete,” Couture said in a statement released by UFC. “I just think that while I’m still physically capable of beating these guys and competing, it seems like the right time.”

The Sylvia-Couture fight will serve as the main event March 3 at UFC 68, which will take place at Nationwide Arena in Columbus, Ohio. Former UFC champions Matt Hughes and Rich Franklin are also scheduled to fight on the card.

Randy retired after losing twice to Chuck Liddell in the light heavyweight division. The step back into the ring at the heavyweight class is a smart one. It never was a question of Randy being strong or skilled enough; Chuck was just too fast. His punches would fly in, delivering (I believe) the only two knockouts of Randy’s long career.

Some could attribute that to age (Randy retired in his early 40s, from a sport dominated by guys in their 20s), but then again, Chuck proves too fast for just about everyone. Sylvia doesn’t have a lot of speed himself, so Randy has a real shot at winning this.

I’ve never seen a UFC fight in person, and was seriously thinking this might be a fun one to fly out to Vegas for. Alas, it’s not in Sin City, but Columbus. People of Ohio, you lucky bastards.

This message was not brought to you by Xyience, but how can you have anything UFC related with a Xyience ad?

More…

I had a minor epiphany a few nights ago. Shortly after closing time, I was saying goodbye to a few friends I had met up with in Chicago, when I realized why Chicagoans jay-walk freely whereas in most of California, it’s a big no-no. It has nothing to do with differences in law enforcement, frequency of trips using a car vs. on foot, etc. It has nothing to do with any of that.

It has to do with only one factor: Cold.

Because I’ll tell you, when I’m walking back to my car at 2am, the temperature hovering around 30, with the wind howling down my back, I don’t care what color that light is. If I can cross, I’m crossing.

• To everyone who helped me move, much love.

• To my new neighbor, from whom I’m leeching Internet, much love.

• Hamburger Mary’s Kobe Burger is quite possibly the best on the planet. (And yes, it’s worth $17.)

• New place is great; I’ll post more pics once I’m more settled.

• First walk to work is tomorrow. K & B say it will take 20 minutes. Not bad considering driving to work one day last week took an hour thirty-five.